I would really like to stop crying now , plskthxbai.

A day doesn’t go by that i don’t cry at least once. Mostly it’s at night, in bed, because i can’t sleep. I can’t sleep because it’s usually too late to take a sleeping tablet, even half a one.

I cry at nappy ads on YouTube – even though Emma was fully potty trained long before the accident. I cry at sad movies. If the show’s story line is about a dead child, a drowning, or any post mortem – i just switch it off. Seeing pregnant women makes me cringe and scuttle off in search of the comfort and recluse of my car…like no one can see me draped over the steering wheel sobbing. Shopping is the worst. Any child around 2 bricks high, with blonde’ish curly hair… I have left my trolleys in isles and dashed to the car. I have run out of pharmacies without paying because the pressure in my chest becomes too much. ( I have sent handy hubby back in to settle outstanding monies when this happens). I can’t answer people over the phone when they ask ‘But how are you REALLY doing.’

Family events are the worst. Christmas was torture. But we got through it, i’m still not sure how. I was drugged up for most of it. I dread birthdays. We didn’t celebrate Valentine’s day. I would like to cancel Easter too.

And i still haven’t had the courage to visit my baby’s grave. I can’t. I just can’t. I had a panic attack the first time a visit was mentioned. I ended up at home alone, unable to sleep, curled up under her memory troos blanket shouting plot holes at the tv. I might have put on a brave face in a floral dress at her funeral, but i am in a worse place mentally now than ever. I’ve made it as far as the farm, but not the family cemetery.

I just want my baby back.

What do you use for a teething baby bottom?

We’ve been teething this past week. Molars.  {shudders} It’s tough being a baby. Definitely not for sissies. Roo (now 16 months) doesn’t drool as much, but poor nunu suffered quite a bit from a burning bottom this time. Everyone has their tried and tested remedies for dealing with the inevitable teething bum. I thought I’d share my approach.

Sunlight. Naked baby in a shady spot in the garden works wonders on a tender bottom. But we’re still in season transition. It’s rainy and cold. There has to be another option.

This is my arsenal…

Call me a moon kissing, flower sniffing hippie, but amber teething necklaces REALLY work. Roo has one. We never take it off. I think her teething would have been a lot worse (more like her big sister’s episodes) if she wasn’t wearing it. With Lili I was too skeptical to try. {So we learn, right? Right.} I occasionally wear my baby pearls teething necklace {Lime green one}. It looks fab and baby can chew on it safely. Rooibos tea is another miracle product. I do everything with it EXCEPT drink it. {I’m really not a fan of tea} – but that’s a post for another day.

Okie, but with these molars, I had to step my approach up a notch.

Baby bum arsenal

From left to right : First off, if the skin isn’t broken yet, I liberally apply Brandsalf. A friend of ours patented this recipe and it has become a punchline in our house. If anything hurts, itches, burns -use Brandsalf!

To help sooth irritated skin I use Annique’s Rooibos Pamperlang. Then a lekker layer of Sudocrem. And lastly I dust some Fullers Earth Powder on the nappy area; This will help keep that bum drier.

And the manky looking wipes in the baggie, you ask? I make my own Rooibos wipes when there’s a sore bum in the house. {This helps for heat rash too all you cyclists!} I make 2 strong cups of Rooibos tea. One cup I empty into the bathwater, the other I use to make wipes. I use any cheapo wipes when making these – rinse out most of the soap, then dip in cooled Rooibos tea. Squeeze out excess {but leave a little in so it’s damp, you know, like a wet wipe} Place in a baggie and keep close for nappy changes. I ship my baggie off to daycare as well. There’s nothing worse for a sore bum than baby wipes. Even those sensitive ones. If you have to use wipes, make them Rooibos.

Some people swear by egg white – I honestly haven’t tried it. {Do you have to whisk it until stiff peaks? or use it runny? idk} There are so many baby bum creams on the market; some pharmacies even mix their own concoctions. It’s just a process of finding what works for your nunu’s bottom {and mommy’s pocket}. This is what works for us.

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Linking up: Modest Mom

Pick a Pin Tuesday : Baby tab blanket

The first image has very thorough tutorial, and  the second one I pinned for the cute pic! This is how I wanted Roo’s tab blanky to look like.

Ribbon Tab Blanket

Original Pin : Ribbon Tab Blanket

Tab blanky on Etsy.com

Tab blanky on Etsy.com

I found the cutest flannel fabric at Naald-in-`n-Hooimied (our local haberdashery). The smiley flowers were just so goofy! I had some mulberry stretchy fabric left over from making my maternity tummy tubes – I still have to post about that (although it was almost a total waste of fabric buy cause I only made 1 tummy tube. The fabric kept on slipping under my sewing machine foot). And I’ve always collected pretty ribbons; I can’t help buying 3m-4m at a time.

I didn’t take any pics while making it – in hindsight I should have. Because I had pinned the ribbons wrong, and as I was about to turn the stitched fabric inside out… I realised the tabs won’t show on the outside. So I had to undo all my sewing, repin the ribbons and sew it all again. [I need to find out if my machine can take double needles cause I love top stitching! But parallel lines are my Achilles heel]

Roo's tab blanket!

Roo’s tab blanket!

(I have a weakness for polka dot ribbon)

Roo likes her tab blanky

Roo getting the feel of her tab blanky

Of course she doesn’t love the blanky  NEARLY as much as I do… or her sister does. I had to make 3 more – two as baby shower gifts and one for big sister Lili.

Linking up: Take-a-look Tuesday, Anti-Procrastination Tuesday, Show it off Party, Get your Craft on, Meet meMonday party

What I’ve been up to

I now have two kids: a almost-four-year-old and a premature New-born. (That should be enough reason for my hiatus 😉 ) I used to be pregnant. Baby made her appearance on 11 May 2012. Before that I was in hospital for a few days.  Before that I was failing miserably at juggling work, home and my ever increasing blood pressure… which lead to my hospitalisation with PET. Back to baby: she was born 6 weeks premature (I prefer 4 weeks since 38 weeks in considered full term but that’s another kettle of fish). Than goodness she didn’t need to go to NICU. She was in a regular incubator in the regular nursery for two days, then a day under UV lights. Rest of time we kangaroo’d and chillaxed in a hospital bed watching WAY too much TV.

She was discharged after 8 days. She’s ok now, just small and we’re working real hard to get her to steadily gain weight.

I know this blog has been crafty oriented and recently just spewing out free printable bookmarks. Hopefully this will change. I really want it to change. I miss using a blog as a diary and soundboard.

So I’m hoping to slowly ease back into blogging/diary writing. It’s therapeutic and sometimes the interwebs multiverse throws you a surprise with some gem comments and opinions.