I would really like to stop crying now , plskthxbai.

A day doesn’t go by that i don’t cry at least once. Mostly it’s at night, in bed, because i can’t sleep. I can’t sleep because it’s usually too late to take a sleeping tablet, even half a one.

I cry at nappy ads on YouTube – even though Emma was fully potty trained long before the accident. I cry at sad movies. If the show’s story line is about a dead child, a drowning, or any post mortem – i just switch it off. Seeing pregnant women makes me cringe and scuttle off in search of the comfort and recluse of my car…like no one can see me draped over the steering wheel sobbing. Shopping is the worst. Any child around 2 bricks high, with blonde’ish curly hair… I have left my trolleys in isles and dashed to the car. I have run out of pharmacies without paying because the pressure in my chest becomes too much. ( I have sent handy hubby back in to settle outstanding monies when this happens). I can’t answer people over the phone when they ask ‘But how are you REALLY doing.’

Family events are the worst. Christmas was torture. But we got through it, i’m still not sure how. I was drugged up for most of it. I dread birthdays. We didn’t celebrate Valentine’s day. I would like to cancel Easter too.

And i still haven’t had the courage to visit my baby’s grave. I can’t. I just can’t. I had a panic attack the first time a visit was mentioned. I ended up at home alone, unable to sleep, curled up under her memory troos blanket shouting plot holes at the tv. I might have put on a brave face in a floral dress at her funeral, but i am in a worse place mentally now than ever. I’ve made it as far as the farm, but not the family cemetery.

I just want my baby back.


Thank goodness for digital art files!

Seriously, sometimes it’s just so hard to find a specific paper or design or Lil critter in the shops. Or you have to drive around and hunt through stacks of boxes and shelves for that perfect chevron in just that shape of taupe. Also doesn’t help that I live in a tiny rural town and retail is WYSIWYG. And if you DO find a paper you like…that’s just it: you buy 1, you get 1. You use up that one paper – so you tend to use it sparingly to make it last. The whole idea of crafty if to share the pretty! This makes digital art files soooo awesome. Buy it once, print as many as you like. For good karma sake stick to the creator’s terms of use,but for the casual crafter this means you can use that Asian inspired creamy blossom paper for ALL your Christmas cards this year.

I’ve been a fan of digital printables for years now. I’ve bought calendars, and vintage mermaids, and stamps, and papers. Etsy is a fabulous ecommerce source for digital art. One of my new favorite shops is MaishopDigitalArt. You want pastel colored linen textured paper? How about some cutesy folded ribbon banners is a plethora of colours? And mini itty bitty hearts on kraftMaishopDigitalArt has you covered.

Best of all, these images are instant download. As soon as your payment goes through, click click, you have the files. No need to wait for shipment. You can get your craft on the moment inspiration hits. Perfect for international crafters! Perfect for me 😉

My easy DIY storage for craft papers

All those craft rooms on Pinterest make me realise that I seriously need to start organizing my junk. I can call it Junk, cause it’s mine, you get to call it stuff, or crafting paraphernalia.

First off I needed to sort out my paper stash. They were all over the place: in paper bags, plastic packaging bags, in the book shelf, on the stack of drawers. Everywhere. So I saw this beauty on scrap-a-doodles.

It’s so pretty. All clear and neat…and expensive! at R695 for 10 trays, that’s almost R70 a tray. I’m saving up for a melting pot – there’s no way I’m forking out that much cash for a plastic tower to HOLD PAPER. There has to be an alternative.

Say helloo to the Large Pizza Box. 12 x 12 inch paper fits inside perfectly. I got a pack of 20 boxes from a local packaging company – Some assembly needed. Not sure of exact price, because I got a pack of 50 plastic sleeves with adhesive for my cards as well. All and all  for R100.

2014-03-30 10.47.42


It might not be clear, but at least it is neater.

Kicking this nickel allergy ina clam

I *love* costume jewellery.  They are so fun, and colourful, and cheap. Want to try the hottest new trend this season? Mr Price, Legit etc will have couture mass produced knockoffs and rock bottom prices that you won’t feel guilty abiut onlu wearing once. Maybe twice.

And because I try new hobbies every other week, I dabble in some jewellery making too. Now while the factory shops may have some nickel free items, I haven’t been able to source any (at a reasonable price anyway).
Loads of people have nickel allergies – myself included. (I think it’s acquired though. And each subsequent exposure cause a bigger reaction. #thumbsuck)
This means my clients also have these allergies and can’t enjoy my totally fab earrings.

This lead me to an experiment. How to beat the nickle!  A brain fart haf me trying to mask the nickle with clear nail varnish. 

And I’m happy to say that so far, my ears haven’t itched yet. And they’ve endured their fair share of nickel this week too. Constantly swapping the earrings to different piercing holes to alleviate the discomfort. Why just NOT wear earrings? Psh. Thats not the point.


Happy Birthday, Tracy!


It’s my birthday today, Hurrah!

And right now {hopefully} we just landed at OR Tambo International Airport {Jan Smuts for those my age 😉 }. I have to attend a meeting there/here. Definitely didn’t expect to spend my 33rd birthday in a day-long meeting at HQ. At least we get free drinks in-flight, right? Right.

12 year old Tracy wouldn’t believe how awesome her life turned out. Her own little family to play house with, Hubby and 2 lovely terrors princesses, carreer, surrounded by loving friends and family. Just no hover boards or flying cars…yet.

Hope you have yourselves a lovely Wednesday!

What do you use for a teething baby bottom?

We’ve been teething this past week. Molars.  {shudders} It’s tough being a baby. Definitely not for sissies. Roo (now 16 months) doesn’t drool as much, but poor nunu suffered quite a bit from a burning bottom this time. Everyone has their tried and tested remedies for dealing with the inevitable teething bum. I thought I’d share my approach.

Sunlight. Naked baby in a shady spot in the garden works wonders on a tender bottom. But we’re still in season transition. It’s rainy and cold. There has to be another option.

This is my arsenal…

Call me a moon kissing, flower sniffing hippie, but amber teething necklaces REALLY work. Roo has one. We never take it off. I think her teething would have been a lot worse (more like her big sister’s episodes) if she wasn’t wearing it. With Lili I was too skeptical to try. {So we learn, right? Right.} I occasionally wear my baby pearls teething necklace {Lime green one}. It looks fab and baby can chew on it safely. Rooibos tea is another miracle product. I do everything with it EXCEPT drink it. {I’m really not a fan of tea} – but that’s a post for another day.

Okie, but with these molars, I had to step my approach up a notch.

Baby bum arsenal

From left to right : First off, if the skin isn’t broken yet, I liberally apply Brandsalf. A friend of ours patented this recipe and it has become a punchline in our house. If anything hurts, itches, burns -use Brandsalf!

To help sooth irritated skin I use Annique’s Rooibos Pamperlang. Then a lekker layer of Sudocrem. And lastly I dust some Fullers Earth Powder on the nappy area; This will help keep that bum drier.

And the manky looking wipes in the baggie, you ask? I make my own Rooibos wipes when there’s a sore bum in the house. {This helps for heat rash too all you cyclists!} I make 2 strong cups of Rooibos tea. One cup I empty into the bathwater, the other I use to make wipes. I use any cheapo wipes when making these – rinse out most of the soap, then dip in cooled Rooibos tea. Squeeze out excess {but leave a little in so it’s damp, you know, like a wet wipe} Place in a baggie and keep close for nappy changes. I ship my baggie off to daycare as well. There’s nothing worse for a sore bum than baby wipes. Even those sensitive ones. If you have to use wipes, make them Rooibos.

Some people swear by egg white – I honestly haven’t tried it. {Do you have to whisk it until stiff peaks? or use it runny? idk} There are so many baby bum creams on the market; some pharmacies even mix their own concoctions. It’s just a process of finding what works for your nunu’s bottom {and mommy’s pocket}. This is what works for us.


Linking up: Modest Mom